Preteen Media Influence: Kickin’ In Like Clockwork!

clockwork-orange.jpgAs I drove my 7th grade daughter to school this morning, I practically leaped out of the driver’s seat when she turned to hug me goodbye.

I thought there was a spider on her face, but it was actually one random cockeyed, mascara-curled eyelash that looked oddly reminiscent of Stanley Kubrick’s Clockwork Orange film.

This poster of Malcolm McDowell in the title roll sums my stun-gun-mama moment visual quite well…She somehow managed to add pitch-black ‘length’ (one eye more than the other evidently) to her already long lashes which ended up looking oddly surreal in contrast with her light-blonde (ahem, flat-ironed) hair.

Excuse me, is this MY supposedly media savvy, heard-it-all-before, ‘those images and brands don’t effect me’ preteen? Yup. One and the same. Nancy Gruver, founder of New Moon Girl Media captured my emotional heartsink well in this post here,

“Like an iron grip in a velvet glove, the hyper-sexualization of girls in the media holds actual girls hostage under the pretense of entertaining and informing them. And, like in the Stockholm Syndrome, it’s not surprising when girls start to identify with the all-powerful culture that’s holding them hostage.”

Eep! They’ve got her! Child abduction! As the kids would say, “omg!”

clockwork-poster.jpgNancy’s comparison to the Stockholm Syndrome is jarringly accurate in my household, because this preteen has the media literacy firepower of seeing (and deconstructing) the stereotypes, beauty ideals, and even ‘human billboard’ branding effect of Hollister-plastered peers narrow-casting into a uniform of lemmings in lockstep…(’twas ever thus, remember the alligators, polo ponies, hang ten barefoot icons?)

She clearly “gets it” and yet…she STILL appears to be ‘drinking the Kool-Aid’ albeit in smaller doses.

Children’s media maven Alice Aspen March might say it’s “The Attention Factor.” I’m thinking it’s a wry wink and a nod, that’s “part sheeple, part parent pushback” in 21st century rebel-without-a-cause modality.

Ah, tweendom.

Yeah, yeah, I know, “relax.”

And I am. Honest…I know it’s ‘testing, testing, 1-2-3’…

Media pundits without kids tend to chirp about the dialed down demographic and early behavioral cues as ‘no big deal,’ (right along with buying a 99 cent cellphone gel case on e-bay without asking, or running over on text minutes) but that’s all easy to say, until it’s your own preteen caught in the pop culture zeitgeist.

I know it’s all “developmental, identity exploration, finding the right fit in the social status tribes of blending among peers”…yadayada…

And I’m trying not to take it personally that some of the latest antics echo a pop culture ideal that I’m spending my life work counter-marketing.

But slowing down this cyclone of an age-compressed ‘body blitz’ of beauty ideals landing on kids at ever-younger ages, is becoming a full-time deconstruction job…

Nancy Gruver, of the New Media Maven blog said it well:

“It feels more subtle than verbal or physical harassment, but that’s part of its stealthy effect. It’s like a never-ending buzz in the background that you try to ignore but can’t. Gradually, sub-consciously, more and more of your energy and attention is spent on trying to ignore the buzz.”

That not only resonated with me, but reverberated like a ‘buzz’ to my very core.

Mind you, in my daughter’s case, I’m going to keep perspective and exhale with guarded glee, ‘knowing that she knows what she knows’…Ultimately she has the media chops to ‘right herself’ like a sailboat in a torrential wind gust of messages that have her heeling on edge from time to time…

life-ring.jpgPlus, I’m not inclined to be one of those Coast Guard helicopter parents hovering around with a life-ring and a safety line to toss out every time the current gets rough…Sure I buckled up her life-vest initially, but she’s the one who knows how to secure it so it fits right now…

If she gets swept away a time or two in the media current, she’ll learn to be mindful of the telltale signs and nuances next time. It’s all about judgment calls and inner self-savvy…Just like the ocean, she’ll have to learn to read the tides and interpret with a keen eye.

I hope. Lots of red flag beach days comin’ in these media-drenched teen years…

wave.jpg

My Hawaii days at Waimea echo warnings in my brain though, “Just because you’re a strong swimmer…” doesn’t mean a rogue wave or a wicked undertow can’t take you out in a blink of poor judgment, even if you’re a lifeguard yourself. So YES, of course I worry she’ll get sucked in…

All the surround-sound sexualization and objectification makes me feel like we’re surfing with jagged coral beneath us…or maybe even dodging Titanic icebergs…

Such as?

When my daughter’s peers coo that she “should be a model,” or adults who haven’t seen her in awhile make glamorama comments like, “wow, you’re in for trouble with THAT girl looks” (right in front of her, before I can even land that “parental glare” to hushup!) it feels like all the work I’ve put in to giving her ‘perspective’ and reminding her that outside presence only flourishes from within.

Okay, a tad dramatic for a tube of mascara, but hey, I see “way too much” in this line of work with kids. I seem to have a permanent auto-loop of the Dove soundtrack of Onslaught in my brain, “Here it comes…here it comes…here it COMES!” And then BLAM!

As Felicia Richardson-Battle summed on Nancy’s blog, “On one hand we’re telling them “Girls are powerful!”—“Girls can do anything!”, yet on the other hand, the constant barrage of images and messages they receive from the media tells them that in fact “Girls are to be looked at.”— “Girls are to compete with other girls for the attention of boys,” and “Girls are for the pleasure or entertainment of men.”

That pretty much nails it, indeed.

Where’s the authenticity? The sense of self?

kidsfree2bkids.jpgThe Kids Free To Be Kids factor? (check out Julie Gale’s great site in Australia on these issues, I met her at the CCFC Commercialism/Sexualization summit, and she’s a hoot; doing fabulous work ‘Down Under’)

Somehow young kids talking about Brazilian bikini waxes and acrylic nails, (MSNBC video here on Felicia’s Reign of the Girl Child blog on elementary school cosmetic cues) should enable us to “connect the dots” and NOT be so surprised when we hear of strange antics like 12 year olds shaving nether-regions much to the horrified/pornified wide-eyed parents (sorry folks, true story; per firsthand pediatric tween tales).

It’s jarring. And tweaked. And makes me want to retrace how and why we got here, with reverse progress that seems to have imploded on kids of both genders.

Nancy’s blog quotes the cover story in Ms. magazine this month by Caroline Heldman about the high costs of self-objectification that girls are taught by our culture, “…viewing one’s body as a sex object to be consumed by the male gaze. Like W.e.b. DuBois’ famous description of the experience of black Americans, self-objectification is a state of “double consciousness…a sense of always looking at one’s self through the eyes of others.”

abercrombie-billboard.jpgIt’s a great piece, but I’d take it one step further and add that this self-objectification applies to BOYS as well…

Boys are living in the Abercrombie-esque altered state of appearance-based double consciousness of ‘musts,’ and cultural cues too…

Already 26% of male adolescents don’t like their bodies or have dysmorphia issues. (American Journal of Drug & Alcohol Abuse) and boys are exposed to a steady stream of steroid abusing sports heroes & buffed muscled videogame icons, showing up in a rise in eating disorders, steroid use, depression and beyond.

laid-or-loved.jpgWe’ve seen Axe-cologne wearing 4th grade boys already carping about their ‘look’ and teen boys feeling pressured to ‘perform’ when it’s not even what they WANT in a relationship…

See Dr. Jennifer Austin Leigh’s new book, “Laid or Loved” that just got picked up by a publishing house. (BlogTalk Radio interviews here)

I’m not discounting the proliferation of GIRLS self-objectification in the least…no doubt they’re getting hammered. Buxom thin-thonged bikini imagery is now online, offline, mobile/wireless/pda or cell screen…virtually everywhere 24/7.

I’m just saying we need to look at the global impact of the media/marketing messages being put out there universally because it’s damaging kids of BOTH genders, in ALL countries, pure and simple as that.

fgg_finalcover.jpgI just took a peek at Felicia’s new preteen blog billed as “a place for moms of preteen girls to chat, rant and freak out in privacy” and her new book just launched called Feel Good Girl.

Clearly, there are many smart people around the globe desperately trying out new ways to curb tipping points of toxicity…and this gives me hope in itself!

When I spoke at the Preteen Alliance last week (btw, great data & resources) and showed my brief body image video on media/marketing’s impact on kids, it really made me think of how powerful the visual medium is for capturing these ‘issues’…so I’m eager to do more in this realm with our own teen advisors taking the camera into their worlds. (Interns? Ping me…)

12-going-on-29-visual.jpgI’ll also be reviewing ’12 going on 29′ by Silvana Clark (and her teen daughter Sondra, who has 8 books under her belt already!) so there’s no dearth of talent trying to combat the exportation of vapid values into the mainstream, or for that matter…abroad.

From the Fiji study exhibiting girls’ body image tanking once they were exposed to American TV/media, to the gentleman from Africa who put in a plea on our own blog to help them stop the damaging drek infiltrating kids in his country, it seems readily apparent that the $51 billion industry is inspiring many of us to band together to make a difference in every possible area to stem the influence, flip the message, and shift the momentum so that kids are gaining their self-worth from the inside, not the outside.

Almost feels like we’re carving up the turf like a gang war in a street battle for the hearts and minds of adolescents and elementary school kids!!

As I said to the parents and educators at the Preteen Alliance last week, “If you feel outgunned, undermined, and struggling for the physical and emotional health of kids…it is NOT your imagination.”

Those of us in the trenches have seen the emotional battle scars of some of these children longing for adoration that squishes out sideways in some misguided antics.

New Moon Girl Media Maven captures some of the polarity that’s tugging at me here,

“…Imagine the extreme confusion girls feel when they are surrounded by images promoting the power of female sexiness and at the same time are told that it’s bad for girls to be interested in sex, to act sexy themselves, to dress sexy, etc.

The real message being conveyed, of course, is that girls shouldn’t want to be powerful. The conflicting messages about personal power create an epic inner struggle for girls that stays with us into adulthood, sapping creative energy and focus that would be better used in changing the culture and making our world a better place for everyone.”

And just think of all that youthful energy that could be better spent elsewhere…Time to get away from the mirror, shatter the shallowness and focus on the things that matter…

cyclone.jpgHow about getting kids’ beyond the media cyclone of cultural narcissism and turning to REAL cyclones to get some perspective?

My guess is more kids have come to the aid of Miley’s media moment than have ever heard of CNN’s Be the Change site, or take part in what kids can do to help the cyclone victims in Myanmar.

Getting kids to think outside themselves is only one way to reinstill priorities…

We also use a lot of peer to peer counter-marketing in ‘been there done that’ mode which works wonders, in ‘big brother/big sister’ mentorship style.

When high schoolers engage with tweens, tweens with elementary schoolers, and so on, we’re able to reframe the ‘appearance-based’ conversations and hear directly from kids themselves, to help kids make sense of the media hype and fallacies therein.

As much as the media influence feels like it’s “got her” in a chilling dangerous tingle akin to a covert cold war defection sometimes…all I have to do is see her around animals, or small children to watch her ‘real self’ surge forth as it brings out the best in her and all the snippy, shallow, superficiality of media cues melt away.

Whether it’s kids helping kids in other countries, caring for the planet, living creatures and ‘all things great and small’…our best ‘weapon’ in the arsenal of media madness is cleaning up the concept that looks are everything, and it’s all about ‘hot or not’…That’s a tall order, so send us what’s working for you—

Teens how are you coping? Parents/educators, how are YOU counter-marketing the consumption cues and vapid values of what’s deemed important out there?

The top three ‘uniques’ will receive a copy of Packaging Girlhood, courtesy of Shaping Youth!

Visual Credits: A&F NYT photo: Kiichiro Sato, Associated Press, Cyclone photo, Natural Disasters Homework Help; Life-ring and Waimea wave, istock photo

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Comments

  1. Thanks so much for the link love! I’ve been an avid lurker (blurker?) on your site for a while and I’m so flattered that you took notice of the book and blog.

    Projects like Shaping Youth, Packaging Girlhood and New Moon Media are SO important in this struggle that we’re in for our girls’ well-being. Lots of moms (and dads) who may not have realized how much influence the media has on our kids are slowly starting to get the picture, and it’s all due to super-informed sites like yours. Hats off to you! Yes, we have a ways to go, but it’s empowering to know that we’re all moving in the same direction.

    BTW, your mascara-incident with your 7th grader reminded me of a conversation I had with my 14-year-old a few months back. I won’t take up your entire posting area with the long story, but I blogged about it if you want to check it out. Long story short…they DO hear us. They’ll test out the pink & pretty /look-at-me way of thinking promoted by our society, but when it comes down to it; if Mama’s on the right road, the girl-child will follow (slowly but surely…I pray).

  2. Hey Felicia…thanks for stopping by! Well, you’re absolutely right on the tween scene (so far anyway) as I’m happy to report that today’s drop off had not a drop of the gooey stuff all without me saying a word… (um, well, wait, I did ‘eek’ at the time, as I’m arachnophobic, so maybe that had an impact!) 😉

    On the flip side, she DID pull some serious attitude and launch a ‘text message flame war’ with me so I know we’re going to hit some rocky times to come, whether it’s trash-n-flash vamp-n-camp or other personal pushback…

    Our texting went something like this:

    ‘watever u say mom’ (eyeroll)

    me: I hope u treat your friends with R-E-S-P-E-C-T!

    ‘I do!’

    me: Sing it Aretha! (my fave)

    ‘Ur so strange!Lol’

    🙂 So I guess as long as there’s still dialogue and a sense of humor amidst our butting heads, it’s a very good thing, n’est ce pas?—glad to hear I’m not the only ‘strange’ mom out there willing to walk the walk…

  3. Just the regular akismet tool set at a high filter/blacklist of spammers by hand using ISP numbers etc. No silver bullet, sadly…

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